i had already decided not to practice hypnotherapy anymore and unnecessarily activate chitt and manas, my own or of clients but the nature (swabhav) of my doer has always been to keep learning new things. i had participated in a few family constellations workshops in 2013/14, had found them very interesting which gave a different dimension to healing and so decided to study the modality when i came to know in June 2015 that a Family Constellations training workshop (3 levels spread over a couple of months) was being organised in Mumbai. The first module was within 25 days. i did not have leave on the requisite days and my flying schedule had already been released, so my only option was to swap flights and travel to Mumbai on days off. i must have sent out at least 200 swaps and messaged colleagues to kindly accept the swap but all got rejected. 3 days before the commencement of the workshop, the last swap got rejected and there was no way i could have made it for the training. i finally surrendered and fully accepted that this was not manifesting. There was no disappointment or unpleasant feelings, just an acceptance that QVSWPP, Sree Maa Shri Ji know what’s best for me, an understanding and knowingness that had come from over 4 years of experience.
2 days later, i woke up to a message from a colleague saying that she had seen my advertisement for the days off that i wanted and was happy to swap but hadn’t checked if the swap was valid. i had only half an hour to check if the swap was valid and for my colleague to accept as the legality for rostering system is that all swaps will expire 24 hours before flight departure time. Unbelievably, the swap was valid and within the next couple of hours, i found myself on a flight to Mumbai to attend the Family and Systemic Constellation training.
i wondered how everything had manifested and what was my learning out of it. i had tried everything possible to get days off, but nothing manifested. i had embodied the akarmi and didn’t have any expectation of the result but what surprised me was that i did not experience even a twinge of disappointment or complaint in my thoughts and inner dialogue. This was new and 2 days later everything had fallen into place. Amazing😍. This state was somewhat similar to the state of surrender i had experienced in Nov 2011 where i had uttered a prayer to Sri Sri asking him to send into my life that’s best for me but this time, i did not even utter a prayer to Sree Maa. i was in total acceptance. For the first time i had an experience of true surrender where i didn’t ask for anything even in the form of a prayer and operated from utmost Trust naturally🙏🙇
Little was i aware at the time that the course content of May-June 2016 Taupo Retreat would revolve around Total Surrender (sampoorna samarpan) of which i had experienced a very small taster🙏🙇
Phase 2 was launched at the start of 2015 but before that FiT programme was suspended for 10 days in the last trimester of Dec 2014. This was time given to all FiTs to take time off and reflect on the following:
“Ask yourself whether you are someone that is genuinely ready for Transcendence? If yes, write a letter to Source-Void and Sree Maa Shri Ji saying you are ready for the Phase 2. Once you write this letter, remember, walking out or quitting afterwards will mean your unauthentic self, your ego was the one who thought it was ready for Transcendence. If no, then take further 21 days off from volunteering as well as consciously don’t emit-transmit or share the QVSWPP or connect to Sree Maa Shri Ji. The ones who write a letter will be taken into level 2 of FiT programme. The ones who choose the 21 day process will again sit down with themselves and ask if they are ready now for Transcendence. If you get a yes this time, write the letter. If you still get a no, then it’s best to leave the FiT programme. To further clarify if you choose to leave the FiT programme, you will still be part of Kosmic Tribe and a 5D++ Pulsar if you want to be associated with QVSWPP.”
This kind of manan-chintan (reflection and self-introspection) was always encouraged and practiced and was the foundation of the FiT programme. All FiTs always took their own decisions whether they wanted to continue or not and were their own gauge where they stood and how far they wanted to go. What i loved was that Sree Maa Shri Ji always maintained transparency and clarity of what we were getting into and the choice was always in our hands. Transparency, authenticity, integrity and honesty as the core principles of the FiT programme were always practiced by Sree Maa Shri Ji.
Sree Maa had told us in December 2014 itself that all FiTs were ready for physical Phase 0 immersion where the initiations would work directly on the physical body. Sree Maa recommended that we all take Heel’s Detox Homeopathy medicine to detox. i took my decision and took only half the dose 😝
i hit my lowest ever as soon as phase 2 was launched. i felt like something inside me was dying and i couldn’t see my life after May 2015. i knew it that i was either going to physically die or such a major shift was going to come that i couldn’t see my life at all after May 2015. i had bouts of crying for no rhyme or reason and frequent energy crashes. i thought that this was some kind of depression i was going through but didn’t want to go to a doctor at all, like something within was holding me back and telling me to embrace what was happening and that this was a temporary phase, a preparation for something bigger to emerge. When i lay in bed, i had no awareness of my body and time but chitt and mann were overtly active where i was visiting aspects of me and parts of my life and witnessed them being released. When i surfaced, hours had gone by but i didn’t feel rested. Can’t adequately describe the experience to be quite frank, but i eagerly awaited the May 2015 Kawai Pura Retreat, the formal launch of the FiT (Facilitator-in-Training) Programme🙇